Back Again

Hi!

I'm back. You may have guessed that I didn't reach my New Year's goal. In fact, I've gained 15 lbs back. However, I can still fit into the smaller size jeans that I bought then and I don't feel defeated, because these are lifestyle changes and I didn't fail a diet, right? I was eating better and exercising more than I did before I started this blog, so I think that is success.

I kept intending to blog anyway, but a few things have kept me away. For one, my workplace let us know that we shouldn't be blogging in the library, even on lunch or other breaks. Two more positive reasons are that I became a Master Gardener intern for my county and I've had a lot of studying to do, and also I've made it a personal project to learn about Russia. I've been reading many Russian folktales to begin. If you want to see what I'm doing, look at my blog Book Besotted Librarian.

I bought that little black dress that I was hoping to wear when I reached my first goal of 199 lbs. I got a good deal on it online around "Black Friday," every retailers favorite time of year (cough, cough). If I can squish into it, I will put some pictures up and hopefully we can all watch changes until it fits me perfectly.
I also want to show you the dress that I get to wear in my friends' upcoming wedding. They were very thoughtful of their bridesmaids and so we can wear tea length black dresses. They gave us a choice of five styles. The gowns are black taffeta and they are all strapless, but I had wide straps put on mine and I'm going to wear a black chiffon shawl with it. I am very pleased. At the final fitting yesterday, the dress zipped up fine, and I felt very glamorous.

It's nice to be writing again!

Losing weight again!

I have to admit, I doubt my scale lately. It doesn't seem as reliable as it once did. Possibly, this is due to my dogs using it as an extra boost up to try to look out our bedroom window. But, Saturday, the scale said I weigh 203. 203! This is truly exciting. I weighed myself three times at different spots in the bedroom, and backed up by the tape measure and the way my clothes fit, I'm choosing to believe it. It gives me a boost in my weight loss efforts, and if it isn't true yet, then I guess that it will be soon.

I have to confess: I would truly love to be less than 200 lbs for the new year. Four pounds away doesn't seem like much, but you know how you can get caught in a struggle or plateau. Also, the holidays are fast approaching, which will mean really paying attention to what I'm eating and how much I exercise. But, I'm resolving right here to do the best I can to hit my first big goal by January first. If I eat reasonably and stay on excercise task and I still can't make it, then so be it. But, I am going to try!

For fun, I went to My Virtual Model, to see what my big goal, 137 lbs, would look like. It seems that their Virtual Weight Loss model feature isn't working anymore, but I put together a before and after. The problem is that she doesn't look much like me, but there you go. Imagine blond hair for the bangs and some cat eye glasses, and we're getting closer. If anybody knows how to photoshop, take a crack at her.




 







True confessions & new kitty

My ticker isn't exactly accurate anymore. Since my visit to my parents', I've put on 5 lbs and then lost 1. So, I'm at 210 again. Now I ask you, why? Or really, I've been asking me. Was the idea of breaking 200 lbs somehow too scary on some level? At first, I was just lazy about getting back to my lifestyle changes. I was still in vacation mode and cycling seemed inconvenient. Unfortunately, my walking backup plan failed, because it was getting dark by the time I got home from work. And there were too many meals out followed by special desserts. The evidence is in the tightness of my new jeans.

I didn't go completely beserk. I didn't bring home sweets and eat them wildly. On Halloween, I gorged on Annie's Bunny Grahams instead of candy. I continued to eat fruit. But, I haven't done was was needed to lose or even maintain my weight.

I'm back in the saddle, but I obviously need to delve into my emotional relationship with food and body image. There were days during the last month when all I thought about was food. It was like when they say that teenagers think about sex every three seconds. I would think about eating. I'd be at work, and every moment of downtime I'd think how I wanted to eat something. Obviously, that's not food hunger. They were times when I think that I could have eaten cupcake after cupcake and never have felt satisfied. This wasn't consciously connected to anything bothering me. But, when I talked something over with my husband that had been brewing in the back of my mind, I have to say that I noticed that the compulsive eating thought disappeared the next day. Connected?

Then, I was ready the January 2010 issue of Shape magazine, and on page 107 they had a short article: "Don't let Your Feelings Make You Fat." They had some helpful tips, but they also mentioned several books that I hope to find at my library.

 50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food by Susan Albers


 The Appetite Awareness Workbook: How to Listen to Your Body And Overcome Bingeing, Overeating, & Obsession With Food by Linda W. Craighead

 The Food and Feelings Workbook: A Full Course Meal on Emotional Health by Karen R. Koenig


 Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything by Geneen Roth


 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful on Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle, R.N.

An Amazon search also led me to:


Eating the Moment: 141 Mindful Practices to Overcome Overeating One Meal at a Time by Pavel Georgievich Somov, Ph.D.


- which I will be checking out today.

I've been trying to follow the negative reinforcement pattern when I overeat, focusing on how uncomfortably full I feel afterward and how I wish I'd made a different choice. But I have to tell you, I ate a whole frozen pizza last night. Not a gigantic one, but bigger than a personal size, with a cracker crust, sauce, cheese, pineapple and (fake) bacon bits. When Kristian brought it out for me, I thought to myself that I shouldn't eat it all. But, I didn't take steps. I didn't remove a reasonable portion and refrigerate the rest. I knew that I would feel guilty after I was finished eating, but I still did. It tasted really good. But, not that good. Now I've asked Kristian to help me in the future by only serving me some pizza, not a whole pizza. I'm too weak to stop myself in that situation. It only makes sense; that's why I don't bring candy or other pre-life change sweets home. Why test yourself unnecessarily?

Also, it looks like my workplace will be providing access to weekly lunchtime Weight Watchers meetings not far from my building. It still costs money and I'd have to talk to my boss about getting that particular lunch period, but if ever there was a convenient time to do it, it's now. What do you think? Maybe I need an extra boost going into the holiday season.

Now, here is some good news. Kristian and I adopted a cat this weekend. We got her from the Humane Society and named her Maisy, middle name Rae. She is 7 months old, 5 lbs, and very sweet. So far she seems unafraid of anything, which is great. We don't want her to be intimidated by the dachshunds. Maisy has a cat tree inside a gated play area we've set up in the living room, so she has her own space. I'm so glad we found her! I've really been missing having a kitty.




Maisy



Zombie transformation: One way to lose weight...

When your limbs fall off!

We did our Zombie Makeup 101 program for teens at the library this week. The incredibly talented Gabriel Wimmer came to Zombify us. I was thrilled to be a creature of the night!

Is painting your living room a workout?

Because it feels like one. Up and down the ladder. Bend and stretch to paint. That's how I spent most of my weekend. But, it was so worth it. I've been dying to change the color since I moved in. It's gone from a Velveeta cheese gold to a match to Behr Provence Cream (a Butter Recipe Golden cake mix shade, prebaked).

I was able to devote my entire Saturday to painting, because I knew that I was going to see Great Big Sea in concert that evening. They are my current favorite band and I love to work out listening to them. They make me peddle faster. I went with my friend Mickey,who had never heard them but was game. We had a fine time. GBS did two sets and two en cours. My husband calls GBS my "horrid Celtic music", but I beg to differ.

Update: Trudging along & more Vintage clothing inspiration

It's been awhile since I wrote, but I'm soldiering on. A vacation to my parent's house and a little excess celebration after I returned have brought me back up to 207 lbs, but I'm fighting with myself to stick to my goals! Honestly, the changing season makes me want to eat and sleep. I've had mad cravings for apple treats (as in crisp, cobbler, pie, baked, etc)and for waffles. The early darkening evenings kick my outdoor walking in the shins, so it will be more indoor bike time for me. Maybe it's time to get that hula hoop that I've been promising myself.

In the realm of pretty Etsy clothes, I've found some beauties:

Doesn't this make you want to dance? The Rita Hayworth Vintage 1920s Pink Sequin Dance Costume!

Sadly, It has sold, but here's the window shopping info anyway:

Zwzzy!Get Cute in Vintage

" ♥ THE most beautiful sequined vintage tap dance costume!

♥ Lovely salmon pink in color. Black ruffle trim, and layer underneath!
♥ Industrial hook-eyes in the back!
♥ Comes with matching garters! Due to age, the ribbons are somewhat falling apart on them, mostly in the back."

So sorry, but I can't find the information on this one:

The Ultimate Goddess Gown 1915 Titanic Draped Grecian Silk Lace Dress Edwardian Antique Designer Mint condition from Vintage Glitterati

"A simply stunning and very hard to find Edwardian Pleated and draped Silk Crepe and Lace dress from the Edwardian Era. Beautiful and stunning in multiple floating layers of silk, with a corset interior, dripping lace front and back, and antique lace applique at bodice front. Low cut and svelte. This gown is a collector piece and is in fabulous condition...We added fluttering lace applique streamers."

 

Two satisfying shopping finds

Photo Of Ponte knit pencil skirt from Lane Bryant

I did a bit more clothes shopping this weekend, and I made a great find at Lane Bryant- the basic pencil skirt. I have been looking for this simple style in a basic color for a long, long time. It fit me perfectly in a size 18 (happy dance!) and even though I'm 5' 2", it hits me at the top of my knee.  Hooray! I also bought it in heather grey. I like them so much that I may go back and buy them again on faith in a smaller size. I also got two fitted t-shirts, in navy and berry red and a pair of black tights. I hope that they fit well. I can't stand being strangled by hosiery and usually wear stockings. Do you have a favorite brand for plus size tights?

My other purchase was at the grocery store. I tried Fruit 2 Day in Mango peach, and I really like it. I almost didn't buy it, because my husband said it's better to eat your fruit than drink it, but I grabbed it at the last minute. That is a fine philosophy in the summer, but soon I'll be finding nothing but apples and oranges at the store. I know that I'm exaggerating, but as the season goes on, it will feel that way unless I'm creative. Anyway, I was happy with this juice, because it has big chunks of fruit in it. It was really refreshing and ideal for after a workout. At 120 calories, I'm okay with it! Find nutrition information here . Other flavors are Strawberry orange, Cherry grape, Pomegranate blueberry (next on my grocery list) and Pineapple banana (which will never cross my lips; I hate bananas!), plus two special edition flavors yearly.